realized the only women ive ever felt things for were when our time was limited

struggling to get over the distance and mistakes ive made

lots of tearfulmornings

also realized how fucked up my childhood made me

my life’s always been incomplete in some capacity

whether its lack of friends, love, or sanity

nothing ever has stayed for me. no one or thing has or even really tries. i am consistently a second priority/ choice to people. ive been questioning as to whether anything ive ever done was for myself. I almost feel like im just a servant to the world thats too oblivious to itself. i wanna spread love but if i were tossed in a clinic i think i’d really break w no cares in the world. i dont know what to think anymore. finding writing again has been really nice and even then you manage to influence my lyrics. the pain of reaching the end of the rope and tying loose ends

ive just had it w being alone all my life, i know im different but i just wish i had something that resembled a best friend

i miss being seen by u knowing someone saw me amongst a crowd gave me sm fulfillment ive been trying to forget u and i can’t help but feel a million things all at once

ive been smoking myself numb but sometimes at night i still manage to dream and when its with you i wake up so excited only to remember what the reality is

ive forgotten what its like to connect w someone bc everyones bs and i just stay at a distance since the fruits you see rot at some point or another

i don’t know what im doing wrong whether im too genuine with people or not enough with myself, or if its really a matter of being able to love myself before i can love another

i know the picture you paint is only to cause illusion as to how you really are doing

i knew i could better myself and you but because of my doubts and insecurities we’re only subject to more until our moments come

i wish i knew better as to how much you’d mean to me the moment i saw you on the elevator

i never felt so comfortable or happy to see someone who felt the same about me

sharing a friday night in a city/ beach unbeknownst to us felt surreal, almost a sample of what happiness was

i miss laying beside you

i miss seeing your independence at work

you were the temporary remedy i needed, although i wish circumstances were in our favor

crossing my fingers for down the road

fell in love with a girl that i may never see again and im just wondering when i’ll have my time

care for me is never genuine i dont get why i try trust

i can never end on a good note

i just wanna be okay as you

why’d i have faith for even the slightest sec

at the End of the day i mean nothing so whys it matter